2020 b.c.b (before the common bath)

I had to leave my college in New York City almost 2 weeks ago and come back to the south—where I grew up almost in the middle of nowhere. My little sister and I got so bored that we rolled our cows’ water trough from our farm across the street to our house. We cleaned it. Filled it up with water. Then bathed in it like it was a pool. Taking suggestions for how to fix the trough’s leak because a cardboard tampon is no longer cutting it.

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your mom is an unnecessary calorie

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flatulence, from the Latin flatus meaning 'blowing,' i.e. all blowed out