boy bye

Relationship has been rocky for months. Lots of poorly managed boundaries and guilt tripping. He gets anxious and clingy, I retreat and avoid. I have wanted out but gave it a second shot. We have been getting along ok for quarantine and being sweet to each other. No sex, but lots of support. This week my dad had an anyeurism and emergency surgery several states away. Boyfriend attempts to be supportive but goes into full meltdown mode because I mention I may need to consider a move closer to my family. Gets high and falls asleep in his room; leaves me to wallow in confusion and fear on my own while I wait for news about my dad. Wakes me up at 3am by crawling into bed and saying “sorry, I just love you.” Melts down again yelling at me while I’m half asleep in bed. I was gonna ride out the quarantine together but I’d rather be alone than dealing with this shit. I’m throwing him out for good after work tomorrow.