fuck

Context: My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 10 years now. I was on a hormonal contraceptive for 15 years which had completely interrupted my menstrual cycle, until I decided to get off of it almost a year ago. When my menstrual cycle returned, it came with this savage sexual appetite that no longer matches my boyfriends'... I have tried to liven up our sex life, but he just doesn't have the stamina, or the same amount of desire. I have been dealing with this so far during my time alone on certain days of the week where he works and I don't...I sneakily bought some toys which I hide under the bed and I've been spending a large chunk of those days watching...uhm...videos online and...taking care of myself for a minimum of 2 hours. -- He absolutely does not know this.

I was hoping that after a while my hormones would balance out and the burning desire would abate...but it hasn't. AT ALL. In fact, my head is "in the clouds" so often that I have difficulty controling my facial expressions even during a spin class or at work. I litterally have the raging libido of a 15 year old...which is roughly the age I had started taking that contraceptive, actually... Just last night, he told me to "Stop treating [him] like a peice of meat" and I felt awfull... So I try to stay away, but it feels like I've been living in my own head for the past months and I'm often not mentally present, even when he's speaking to me now. I feel horrible about it...

Anyway, I am now working from home and thankfully, he is still working...but today he came home saying that his workplace is making arrangements for employees to start working from home...and it dawned on me that if this happens, I might lose my mind without the time alone to...release some tension... HELP!