love is a waiting game

My boyfriend and I have been struggling for months and it’s been crumbling before my eyes. I keep pushing off the difficult thoughts because I’m grappling my depression. This week things are starting to look up for me but down for him because I’ve finally decided to end it... one day before the statewide mandatory lockdown. We don’t live together but this feels like the cruelest thing to leave him and then have him be alone for three weeks. So instead because I love him I will wait.