rock bottom

It was almost a year since I had moved to another city with my boyfriend and best friend of 5 years when the pandemic hit. Things were okay at first, we were trying to be careful even thought he thought I was exaggerating a bit much by wearing a mask back when nobody was wearing them. Soon after I got laid off my job because of COVID-19. Thankfully I had savings, but we weren’t sure how long this would last. Unemployment wasn’t working for me, and my boyfriend was getting more and more overwhelmed with having to pay for our over budget apartment on his own and my ever growing anxiety and need to disinfect everything we touched. Eventually he snapped. On the eve of my birthday, while he was working overnight, my best friend, the only person who I physically had during a global pandemic, broke up through text message, even though we lived together... That birthday was the worst day of my life. I can’t explain how alone and scared I felt that day... The next day, he tried apologizing and acting like he didn’t really mean to break up with me, and wanted us to stay together. Yeah no... few days later, after again lashing out at me and telling me to pack my stuff and leave, I left the city and moved back to my parents house. Months later, I’m still unemployed and no longer receiving unemployment benefits, still at my parents house, and he’s still trying to get me to go back to him (even though he had already given up a month ago when he was flirting with another girl). I’m probably rock bottom right now, but when you are rock bottom, all you can do, is go back up.