step-by-step, day-by-day

We’ve been together for 10 months and for the past 2 we’ve both had this shitty bronchitis that won’t go away. I got it from him and his kid. With my legit health anxiety, some serious underlying health issues, and these lungs, I’m nervous.

day 1: I decide that with the state of my lungs I should start work from home. By 6pm, I have cabin fever in my basement apartment and I decide to go to class. Rode up in the elevator with a friendly, chatty lady. She was on her way to the existential book club next door.

day 4: Someone from the existential book club tests positive. Was it elevator lady? Does it matter? We all touched the same elevator button, door knobs, and bathroom key, anyways.

day 15: Such factors combined with congestion and body aches, my doc offered me a Covid test. I drive seven hours from my parent’s house to get the test, but I panic with the giant swab in-hand and chicken out. I can’t sleep the whole night because I am shaking.

day 18: Now on Xanax for the first time, my boyfriend is still refusing to see me because I haven’t gotten the test and he’s with his kids (Didn’t I get sick from them in the first place?) I ask if he’'ll get tested instead since he has the exact symptoms as me. He says yes and makes the appointment with my doc. The he demands I get one too. “Can I go with you so you can hold my hand this time?” I ask. “Go alone,” he responds, “I have to get back home for the kids.”

day 19: I am now secretly sleeping on my ex-boyfriend’s couch, desperate not to be alone in my newly acquired 2am panic attacks, and i don’t know which will happen first: Covid test results or a break-up…