try and jot a few thoughts down

On March 6th, I found out that my husband had paid for sexual favors. After fifteen years of marriage and five children and numerous issues with porn and chatrooms, he finally crossed the physical line. I'm shattering into millions of tiny pieces, more so each day. I'm dying, I can't breathe and I'm "social distancing" in the same space as the one person I can't stand. My faith is wavering, my confidence is gone and I'm not strong enough for this. I am broken in a part of my soul I didn't know existed. One day, in the far future, I'll write a book about our experiences in these days of quarantine. It'll either be called "How Coronavirus Saved Our Marriage" or "It Wasn't the Virus: a memoir of attempted murder". Only God knows which.