you deserve better

Nine months and counting. My husband has not had sex with me. Before then eight months and before that six months. I am now realizing that our relationship was done years ago and I wish I had left when things weren’t good then. But what makes me mad and sad is that I actually care to be in this relationship because I have not known any other relationship for almost twenty years now. But I can't be in a relationship where your partner couldn’t care whether you existed or not. I wish I could be in a relationship where my partner actually felt some lust for me. But then again, should I be in this relationship at all? Given I have two kids with this man I just go through the motions. Other day he said, “I know you cry every night and I don’t care. Hope you keep on.”