BDE

I am a Bad Decision Engine. The newest bad decision that was made here was to respond very positively to the advances of my very cute Russian roommate on valentine's day. It was just sex, we're two consenting adults. It's whatever.

Queue international health crisis.

Now we're trapped in together. It's but bad, we get along really well and we work well next to each other. The problem is that a few days ago he made me a Quesadilla after I was done having a total freak out and now I have The Feelings. This is not a time to catch The Feelings for your roommate. We basically can't talk about it (I certainly will not be broaching the subject any time soon), so we move around this apartment...differently. It's a little more like I have a crush on the next door neighbor sometimes.

The real kicker is that he left and came back. He went to Poughkeepsie to potentially shelter with his family because they have like...land and a lake and stuff, but then the next day he was back. His leaving and subsequent arrival home were bookended by the most incredible sex I've ever had in my life, and I wonder if I have anything to do with why he came back.. It felt empty without him here, but also it was much easier to navigate trying not to have feelings for someone who was far away in New York than for someone I can hear speaking through the wall.

I don't really know what to do here, but at least if it's the end of the world I'll be going out VERY satisfied.