love lost

I met a girl on Tinder in January 2020 (but we already had tons of mutual friends at our college). We had my favorite first date ever. When the outbreak hit we started quarantining together at her apartment in Brooklyn even though it was a logistical nightmare (I was flying back from the west coast). We planned on two weeks but she got a little tired of me so she left early and went home to LA and broke off our relationship. Fast forward to December 2020 and she reached out just to be friends, but we quickly fall back in love with each other and we plan for her to visit me in Portland, OR. She visits in March 2021 and it’s an incredible week, GOAT trip. The day after she leaves, fresh off the physicality of being with her for a week, I look around the city and see all the beautiful people and called her and said “I want to be able to see other people.” I really messed up. She might have moved to Portland but after that there was no coming back for our relationship, and she broke up with me again. She said she doesn’t want us to be in each other’s lives anymore. I’m honestly completely devastated— we had so many plans for the future after Covid and now I guess they’re never going to happen. I hope if she’s reading this she knows how badly I regret treating her the way I did, and how much I love her, and how much I would take care of her as my baby if I ever get back on my feet and if we ever get back together in the future.