silver linings

Well this whole pandemic has really things for my sanity. I have been in home separated from my spouse since January. I was struggling with my addictions and poor life choices and feel awful about my behavior and how deeply I hurt my spouse. She asked for a divorce in January and I have no illusions that this is what will happen. We have agreed to live together until we get our house ready to sell and get it sold so we both can start out on the right foot post divorce. Also we have a five year old son and have been doing our best to keep things civil. Well corona virus hit and has stalled all of this. I am stuck in the house with no work like most everyone else. She had closed off from me and is escaped into her phone and is doing essentially the same things I did during my affair. Ive been trying hard to handle the stress and sadness and guilt but it’s been extremely difficult. Silver lining is I’ve gotten a bunch of quality time with my son. The shame of my actions compounded by her behavior and having her own affairs and refusal to communicate has been heart wrenching and soul crushing. But I know I’m not alone and I continue the journey of healing and reinvention of myself so that once this is all over I can move forward with a new life despite the current hell im living in. Prayers to those affected by the virus and prayers to those helping to overcome and lastly prayers to those who are going through similar situations and living in a current limbo! Stay strong!