inside the bubble
For 15 years, I lived on my own and was mostly single. Then my life turned into a beautifully dramatic love story when I met a man who cared for his bedridden wife for more than a year. Shortly before lockdown, he became suicidal and left her. He moved in with me and my life became a sequence of cheezy romcom movie snippets. We lived in a bubble and didn't think about past or future. Is it OK to enjoy quarantine? I fear the return to normality and him leaving to rebuild his life.
smart ass
My husband and I have been happily married for 34 years. I didn’t think anything could break us, even Covid-19 lockdown. And then, the other night , I happened to ask him why he wiped his ass standing up. Well, you would have thought I’d accused him of some heinous crime. My kind and gentle husband who is usually all light and laughter, ranted on about What business was it of mine?, Could he have no privacy? etc. I was stunned. I thought he was being ridiculous; he thought I was Taking Things Too Far. For the first time ever, we went to bed grumpy with each other. So 2020 won on that day. We were laughing together again the next though. Whew!
heartbroken
the signs of heartbreak i'm nauseous despite having eaten nothing, my body aches and i feel exhausted. there is a permanent lump in my throat. we met online in a fan group chat for a popular DJ and started chatting. i was laid off, directionless and depressed. having someone to talk to was a lifeline. the love-bombing started early, with constant texts exchanged. i should have known then it wasn't going to work. three months later and i've been ghosted. i'm left even more fragile than i was before. i think the ghosts might bring out the skeletons. i feel empty but it's not about him, it's about me.
1-800-799-7233
In February, I was finally able to find the strength & courage to leave an emotionally & physically abusive relationship and move cross country to live with family. When the world went into lockdown just a few short weeks after I was free from my abusive ex, I couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky I was to have gotten out when I did. But, I couldn’t stop thinking about all those who haven’t made it out yet... Please know that you deserve to live without fear, shame, and hurt! You are not alone! Reach out to someone you love and save yourself!! Get help today ❤️ Domestic Violence hotline 1-800-799-7233
c’est la hand sani
Our landlord decided to sell our house while we are still living in it. On top of it, the day we planned to move out a tree branch fell in the house and cut the power off. While packing I found a facial toning mist that I had forgotten about. With my car packed to the brim, drenched in sweat and dirt from deep cleaning without AC in the midst of an epically humid summer in the southeast, half delirious, I grabbed what looked like the facial mist and sprayed it liberally all over my face. Turns out it was hand sanitizer. I just pulled off the side of the road to pour water over my face and burning eyes. Safe to say, I’m sanitized, barely holding onto sanity tho.
lift the curtains
I’ve been working from home for five months now. Gone are the days of commuting to work on the train and juggling six thousand life balls in the air. I can actually breath better now, take a proper shit, spend meaningful time with my kids and make healthy dinners. I didn’t realise what a bad life shape I was in before lockdown. I was living on adrenaline and shallow breathing all day. My fear now is the curtains will be lifted and hectic life shit will splatter me all over again.
deja vu
My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me just before lockdown because he 'needed to address some issues alone'. 3 days ago, I found out that not only is he already in another relationship, but had started seeing her before he ended our relationship. I had started seeing a new guy for the last 2 weeks, things were looking promising. But today, on my birthday, I receive a message from him saying 'I'm not ready for a relationship' and that he needs time to be alone to work through his issues... Getting a real shitty sense of déjà vu right now.
meow
During covid I decided to foster a mother cat and kittens for our local animal shelter as a way to help during the pandemic, but mostly to distract and entertain my kids. It’s been great. The kittens started off tiny and adorable and grew into little devils running rampant around the house. They’ve all been adopted, but we still have the mother cat as a foster and with her kittens adopted she’s gone back into heat (she’s scheduled for spaying at the shelter next week). Needless to say, having a cat in heat in the house is starting to get to me. She crawls around on her belly with her back arched and her butt in the air. She definitely has an itch she can’t scratch. At night she looks out the window and yodels. I can definitely relate and will probably start yodeling out the window with her. She’s desperate for attention and not getting any. If she were allowed to run free, she’d be surrounded by male cats in a heartbeat. It’s primal, powerful and poetic.
get ur shit
At the end of March, my fwb started staying with me in my apt in nyc and we got crossed almost every day and I was having the best sex of my life. But in April, I made a quick decision to move back home to ca and we agreed that he would hang onto my iamgia coat and A24 Ex Machina book and ship them to me because they didn't fit in my suitcase. We were still texting once I was back home and dumbass Aquarius me decided that hangin on to him was too claustrophobic and I cut off the relationship without confirming when he was planning to ship my stuff.....Now it's August and one of my former roomies says he still has them while the other says he dropped them off at my old apt. I JUST WANT TO SNUGGLE UP IN MY Y2K COAT AND PRETEND TO BE A FILM HOE!!
blurred lines
She had kissed me at an event we were at somewhat out of the blue. Particularly given her boyfriend in another country. We talked and seemed like nothing was really going to happen. Then lockdown happened and it felt like the lines blurred throughout that period and there was some form of mutual reliance and comfort. I was planning to send her stuff to make coffee with as she was stuck without means. Asking for her address to do that triggered a denouement where we both had to confront the situation and we stopped talking. The other week, I sent her a letter to try and say something about what it meant and how it would have been nice if the circumstances had allowed but she reacted badly to that. I deleted her details from my phone today.
cottagecore please
My 2020 quarantine coping mechanisms seem to change weekly. First, it was packing a go-bag in case I had to go survive in the woods. Then, it was hitting Bumble hard, the sexting so powerful and frequent I had to break hourly from work. Most recently, it’s obsessively growing my plant collection between telehealth therapy appointments, during which I imagine my therapist writing concerned notes about the growing indoor jungle visible behind me. I’m single, I’m 28, I’ve lived through two economic crises, and I just want the 2020 cottagecore life of everyone’s dreams...thank you for reading my dating profile, swipe accordingly
guilt trip
I feel guilty. I have bipolar and am I unmedicated. We have been in and out of complete lockdown for 6 months now, and all of my usual outlets have been cut off, my routines have changed. These are things I don't usually cope with. But I am thriving. I’ve lost weight, my skin is clearer, my sex life is better, I'm calmer, more relaxed, my moods have never been more balanced. In a situation I shouldn’t be, I am thriving. My partner ordered us some gym equipment online and has been enforcing strict bedtime routines so we don’t get caught up binge watching Netflix. We are eating better, talking more, I have never felt this loved or supported in my life, and I feel guilty for it. I feel guilty for blossoming in an environment that my friends, family and others are experiencing so much difficultly with.
solo shelter in place
I am single and live alone. All my friends have kids or elderly parents and do not want to meet face to face. My work told me to work from home. I feel like I am in some sort of 60's government sponsored psych experiment. In the last month, I have started applying to jobs out of town where no one knows me. Three times I have went out of town, stayed in a hotel and went to interviews just so I have something different to do and someone to talk to. At one of the hotel stays, I've spent a night with a stranger I met in a hotel restaurant. The worst part is hearing everyone around me talk about how the quarantine should be prolonged even further and all the political nonsense. I would waive my right to vote for the rest of my life, if this thing would just stop.
it’s a love story
Got a fever and had a covid scare, but no other symptoms. A few days later, my boyfriend got a fever too when we were staying together. I realized we would have to quarantine together for 14 days when the longest we’ve stayed together is a weekend. Locked in his small bedroom, I freaked out and went down the Taylor Swift folklore rabbit hole, belting that I was in “exile” whilst sobbing away. But after that initial scare, we soared thru the rest of the 2 weeks and we’re now more in love than ever! So sometimes quarantine can be a blessing if you’re with the right person.
confessions from a homeschooler
Everyone is worried about this fall with COVID and if they should send their kids to school or not. I was homeschooled. The version of "homeschool" that I got was to not educate me at all. I never had any math or science or any instruction whatsoever. I literally did nothing but play outside and learn how to survive toxic family environments my entire childhood, K-12.
turning into my mother
So I’m sat on the sofa slouching into my triple chin after munching the homemade pizzas my boyfriend insisted we create for our Friday night lockdown fun. He’s been living with me and my mother for the past two months and although it’s lovely, I wonder if I need to ask AGAIN for him not to leave his wet morning shower towel on my white seersucker bedding each morning (in a folded up neat square?!) I mean who does that, it takes one second to hang it up in the bathroom. Am I turning into my mother? I wonder sometimes. It’s been 5 months since I’ve had to log onto that CRM system at work and I’m absolutely loving my days to myself. But I am kinda driving myself insane with incy wincy little problemos that keep popping up inside my membrane. Hope your all good, think I’ll go in for the last slice of pie tasting pizza base meat ball Mariana that’s waiting for me. Cheers all!!
desperate times
I ran out of shampoo and conditioner and started using my guy roommate’s 3-in-1. Maybe it’s quarantine speaking, but I think I like it.
dog days
My fiancé just told me that he is “sick of me, sick of the dog and sick of our house” and that he thinks we should separate and sell the home. Covid has been tough not knowing when I will see my immediate family next as the all live in a foreign country. We still see my fiancé’s family (who I love) because they live 40 minutes away. They are essential workers which at times has added to our stress. Thankfully we can both work remotely. It does mean we are living in each other’s ears. With the recent addition of a puppy to our loves it seems it’s all too much for my fiancé and he wants to call it quits. We had planned to get married next year, a big wedding with both our large families and friends. Venue booked. Officiant booked. DJ booked. Month of coordinator booked. Photographer booked. Videographer booked. Now who knows. Only time will tell.