molotov cocktail

Me and my boyfriend had just moved into a new apartment, bigger than our previous one because we both complained about the lack of space for each other. We thought having more space would help fix some of the issues, but the quarantine made it clear that space was the least of our problems. Turns out my boyfriend, having grown up in a very patriarchal society (Indian), is used to having or craving for control. This, added to his germophobia, has created a perfect Molotov cocktail. Each day comes with a new set of fears after reading articles in reddit. His anxious tantrums are a common thing every time I open the front door to go water my plants or take out the trash. I do wash my hands whenever I come back inside but it's never enough. Never enough soap, never enough time, never enough skin or garments being washed. My eyes are indeed getting a lot of exercise from rolling and rolling, but every now and then I curl up and weep a little because this situation is taking a big toll in my mental health...and I can't leave.