you’re not alone
My husband and son both have autism. They thrive on routine but cannot create it themselves. I survived with a meaningful career and making sure they both had lots of activities they enjoyed in order to take the pressure off me. But now it's all gone. My job. My son's therapies and extracurricular activities, my husband's job and handbell choir etc. It's all on me and I'm dying inside. Assuming we survive this physically, I'm becoming a shell of a person. I cook and clean and soothe and keep them both as busy as I can. I go to immense effort to keep them on a routine because they both do better that way. The mental and emotional labor is unrelenting. Sometimes I have these fleeting thoughts, "I want to die but then the will be no one to take care of them." I'm on medication now and still working with a therapist but it's not enough. This is so hard. No human should have to do this alone. And of course they don't provide much companionship or emotional support, just endless responsibility. I don't know what will happen if I get sick. My husband has an invisible disability so no one but our care team realizes that he can't manage to care for his own child. We're all alone in this except for our mental health providers and they can't change the situation.
corona couples
Met a great guy on Bumble. We had a couple of socially distant dates, hiking in the foothills of Colorado. Lots of late night talks regarding BC (before Corona) and AD (after distancing.) Heartfelt, warm conversations. When things got anxious for me, he texted me his favorite sections of the Tao Te Ching...so sweet. On Sunday, he says I should plan on traveling with him AD. I order a copy of the Tao from Amazon Prime. On Tuesday, he texts me and says he's back with someone that he met BC. Over and done with before my copy could arrive from Amazon Prime!
hey yo, gassy check
For most of the night in was feeling really anxious and energentic. I ultimately figured out that I was either very cold or very gassy. After laying bed with my husband for a bit and warmed up, we realized that I was pretty gassy. So we spent the next five minutes drumming on my stomach to releaaase the gas. I know there are people who are really miserable out there but I'm happy to be trapt with this guy.
i’m a night owl
My adult children often drop by without announcement and usually bring their children. It's sometimes annoying. Especially when they wake me up. "Why are you still asleep? It's 11 in the morning." I say, "I'm a night owl. Give me time to make coffee. And, I haven't taken a shower." Inside I'm thinking, leave. During this covid-19 virus, they don't drop by. I sleep when I want. Partly I'm glad. Partly I'm sad.
men are trash
I’ve been married for a little over a year. Over the past year I had suspicions my husband’s friendship with the local barista was more than innocent. When NYC announced all bars and restaurants to be closed, he lied to me and said he was going to Tennessee to wait out the Coronavirus scare with his distant cousins. He leaves me in NYC. Days pass and I don’t hear from him. I check the credit card statement and discover he is actually in Gilbert, AZ. He lied to me, flew with the Barista to stay in Arizona with her at her mom’s house. When I confront him on the phone he admits he has been cheating on me for the past 7 months. I’m in NYC, shocked, stunned and alone. It’s a hard pill to swallow having your husband lie to you and abandon you during a pandemic.
these are my needs
What I’ve learned about myself:
- I need sunshine
- I enjoy a clean house
- music on and dancing with my kids brings me joy
- I need activities to keep my brain occupied (more than kid things)
- I enjoy challenging cooking or baking
- small, happy moments make me happy cry
In this time I’ve learned that some days in isolation are better than others. Some mornings I wake up happy and motivated and other days I feel sad and and full of panic. Finding breaks to breathe and ways to make myself happy has helped. I’m welcoming this intimate time with my little family and beginning to cherish every small moment.
im sorry to this man
My husband sneezes with no attempt to cover them with hand, tissue, inner arm. I have yelled at him to cover them but he ignores me. It is a loud sound so I can distance myself. Fortunately, during this virus stay-at-home time I can leave him to get away from that spray. We live on 5 acres so I'm blessed with lots of space. I believe that If you can't change them, leave them. Even if it's just for an hour.
boy bye
Relationship has been rocky for months. Lots of poorly managed boundaries and guilt tripping. He gets anxious and clingy, I retreat and avoid. I have wanted out but gave it a second shot. We have been getting along ok for quarantine and being sweet to each other. No sex, but lots of support. This week my dad had an anyeurism and emergency surgery several states away. Boyfriend attempts to be supportive but goes into full meltdown mode because I mention I may need to consider a move closer to my family. Gets high and falls asleep in his room; leaves me to wallow in confusion and fear on my own while I wait for news about my dad. Wakes me up at 3am by crawling into bed and saying “sorry, I just love you.” Melts down again yelling at me while I’m half asleep in bed. I was gonna ride out the quarantine together but I’d rather be alone than dealing with this shit. I’m throwing him out for good after work tomorrow.
full of rage and need to get laid
Left my husband over xmas. He still hasn't moved out because he's not making enough freelance money working from home. Our only communication is texts about our kid. Last month I met someone. We snuck away to London on two weekends ('visiting friends'), and I 'worked from home' from his place a few times and the husband didn't know since I was still going to the office every day. One Friday I was at his flat when Boris decided the UK had to shut all its bars and restaurants. There goes my 'out drinking with colleagues' excuse for coming home late, I thought. Then the following Monday Boris announced the lockdown and now I'm trapped at home with a husband I don't speak to and a very bored child. I'm full of rage that I can't go get laid, and emotionally hysterical over whether this new 'relationship' will even make it through this.
chat roulette still works?
My boyfriend has been staying in my tiny apartment for 90% of the last few weeks. Before this all started i found out he had used my tablet to sign onto Chat Roulette. He swears he didn’t actually do anything (yeah right) but even knowing he was thinking about flashing some random girls on the internet really hurt. He’s been deceitful a number of times (DMing other women, obsessively checking his exes instagram, offering to meet an old flame for dinner etc.) and though we’ve been seeing eachother on and off for almost three years, he’s called me his girlfriend for maybe six months or so. Anyway- the only time he’s gone is to do work related stuff or meet up with friends outdoors. Then he inevitably calls me wasted at 5am and we have a big fight. He saves all his curious, passionate, fun-seeking energy for everyone but me. I had planned on leaving him for the millionth time but just never seem to have it in me. Now he’s back from another all-nighter. Lazy as can be. Eating all the food I bought. And snoring on the sofa as usual because he’d rather fall asleep watching tv than next to me. We have sex like twice a month and it’s nothing special. And I’m really pretty! Or atleast I thought so when we first started dating. But I’m lonely most of the time. Wishing he’d just scoop me up and fuck my brains out. All of this sneaking around (me digging through his phone to find evidence to back up my suspicions) has got me feeling insecure and so unwanted. And it doesn’t help that I’ve been following social distancing protocol and spend most days alone knitting, cooking, or cleaning the house. I fantasize about breaking up and running into him months later looking really amazing and totally over it. My god, why is this still a thing?
snip snip
I recently moved in with my boyfriend (temporarily due to covid-19) and it's been about a week now. I guess we ran out of things to do and he really wanted a haircut. He showed me some videos on youtube on the technique of the trimmer but I've never used this type of electric shaver so it was kind of confusing to me how to start. We got into a mini argument when I tried to research other ways to cut hair. He was really adamant I use this one tutorial he found. We talked it out and he said he doesn't want me cutting it anymore but I wanted to prove to him I could do it. Anyways, after watching the video multiple times I started trimming it with clippers then I used the buzzer. well... I f*cked up. a chunk at the bottom in the back is gone and lets just say theres a very uneven buzz all around until I finally gave up. His hair is botched, and all the salons are closed. He didn't even get mad at me.
yikes
My girlfriend thinks that the quarantine is a joke and goes out for long walks, disappears for 3 to 4 hours a day, goes to the store more than usually when there was no virus. We have a plan to go to my parents place next week, because I need to take care of some stuff in the city my parents live in. I think she doesn't care about my parents and me because she is not taking any precautions about the quarantine. She watches one show on netflix on a loop, and doesn't want to watch anything else or do anything else together. Most of the time we stay in different rooms cause I try to avoid arguing, as it becomes toxic and she tries to manipulate me into believing that I am being negative. Other issues with our relationship have resurfaced. I think I am in hell, cause I can't escape this and as soon as this is over I am going to dump her.
it’s a vibe
I've come to terms with my marriage being full of love, but almost no sex. It's mostly my fault - I have a difficult time being vulnerable enough to say what I want or opening up without self-monitoring. So, when my friend posted on Instagram that this women's boutique was raffling away free sex toys to help with coronavirus boredom, I entered myself. I actually entered a few different emails to up my chances. I'd never tried a sex toy on myself before, but had always been secretly curious. Maybe this would be the thing that could respark our sex life. Guess who won not 1, but 2 sex toys. And guess who's still too scared to try them. They're currently sitting unused on my nightstand, staring at me, waiting for me to be OK with being vulnerable. Turns out even a global pandemic isn't enough to get my husband laid.
not working from home
Quarantined with my boyfriend of 16 months. We are planning on moving in together in June. Obviously this whole situation doesn’t necessarily resemble a normal living together situation because we are both working from home. I’ve realized that I would HATE to work with him. He is utterly incorrigible and cannot tolerate any noise around the house or near his vicinity while he works/ “concentrates” or is on meetings. Honestly, you’d think the dude is tinkering with the atomic bomb or writing code for nuclear power plants that would explode if a glass clanks four yards away. So thankful for our complete opposite professional lives and can’t wait until we can get back to them so I don’t have to deal with his WFH life. Love him to death, but FUCK get this man back into the office.
a real dickbag
With all the extra time to myself and the mental trauma caused by thinking of the end of world I realized I needed to dump my boyfriend and focus on myself to become the person I’ve always dreamed of being. No more time to waste on a boy who ignores me for his phone 24/7 on a normal day. “So what?! You expect me to pay for an apartment I’m not even living in!”, he exclaims over text Well, I’m not living there either dude. Both quarantined in separate states from our shared apartment. Oh, and he made me screenshot my bank account to prove I paid April’s rent and didn’t just STEAL the money from him. Anyway, have a good day everyone Xoxo gossip girl
the “benefits” in FWB
So it was one of those "oh my gosh, how are we so in sync?" kind of relationships. We'd started out as friends, went through a rocky beginning with his former ex declaring that she still loved him two weeks into the relationship, but we had so much in common that we were able to tackle that hurricane together. About a month ago I find out he wants to be friends with her again and then he starts pushing one-on-one time with her. I think it's a lack of respect and he thinks I don't trust him to the point that he can't continue being together. We met because we both bike. I had only biked with him twice either alone or in a group since Valentine's Day. A little more isolation because of all of this I thought was supposed to help ease the problem, but they've seen each other biking 4/5 days since we broke up and thanks to social media for cyclists, I see all of it. When we broke up, he gave me a pack of TP, a battery for my thermometer and some ramen. I kid you not. These are strange times.
these are a few of my favorite things
Things I am thankful for in Isolation: Already being a full-time remote worker and not having to figure out how use g2m or zoom. Weed in every form, roll me in it at this point! A consistent FWB who has been laying the dick down like a porn star. And chocolate mmmmmm
alone again (naturally) - gilbert o’sullivan
So I was kinda texting/flirting with this one girl before the rona. She had two kids with her baby daddy who she broke up with at the beginning of the year because it just wasn’t working out. After that, she sorta sought me out because we use to flirt in high school. So we’re texting for like two months. There’s some signs of her flirting back. Really cool, right? When the city went on lockdown, the baby daddy started to stay with her because she needed help with the kids while she worked from home. She would complain to me about how much of an ass he still is yaddah yaddah. So recently she went a few days without texting back. No big deal because no one owes me anything and I’ve been busy with work anyway. She responded to my text from a few days ago giving me an update and one of the notes was how her and her baby daddy realized how much they missed each other and made their relationship official. I heard corona floods your lungs, I didn’t know it also blocked your cock.
keep on keeping on
My poly SO & I moved in together last fall. He lives here most of the time, & spends a couple nights a week with another partner, and it's been working well... until now. Me, my SO, and his other partner are all at higher risk of complications from COVID-19, due to age or medical conditions. In particular, I have asthma, and am absolutely terrified that the virus could kill me if I contract it. So I've been doing all I can to stay safe and healthy over the past weeks, especially since our state governor ordered everyone to stay home. Meanwhile, the SO is still working. He has an essential job, so I get it, but his higher-ups offered to give him 2 weeks off with pay as he's higher risk. He treated it like vacation time instead of a prudent health measure, and we scheduled some time off in April. Meanwhile both me and his other partner are upset that he didn't just take the 2 weeks *now*, when it mattered. Well, he and I had a big argument about it, and about how to keep me safe (since he's decided to play dice with his own health). I asked him to stay elsewhere for a week, then came up with a strict protocol for us being around each other when he's here. Great! No problems, right? I found out yesterday (Wednesday) that someone in the SO's department was diagnosed with COVID. He knew it since Sunday and deliberately didn't tell me. I didn't know I could be as angry as I am now. I don't know if he was exposed or to what degree, and I don't know if he exposed me while he was here the last couple of days - in either case, he withheld information from me about a virus that could fucking KILL me. He put me at greater risk because *he* judged that it wasn't really that big a deal - instead of giving me the information I needed and allowing *me* to decide what risk I was willing to take on. Folks in his department are advised to self-monitor symptoms until April 8th. I've asked him to stay away until then (presumably with his other partner). I don't know yet if I will ask him to stay away longer, or what kind of impact this will have on our relationship in the long run. I don't know if I will need to end it, or what. He was planning to propose marriage within the next couple of months and I know my feelings on that are different today. I just don't know what's going to happen from this point on. For now I'm alone in my apartment, angry but self-isolating... and thinking a *lot* about where to go from here.keep