viva la casa
Around the house since Friday the 13th. 13th of March, that is. Haven't killed my husband yet and I am proud of that. Drinking red wine, chilling like a villain and doing all sorts of meditation. I used to think that home is where my problems are, but now I changed my perspective. Viva la casa! This time it's not tu casa mi casa... Until then, peace to y'all.
wash your dick
I ventured out to pick up our once a week takeout for dinner and joyously returned home with the goods. I open the door with zeal and my husband exclaims, "WASH YOUR HANDS!" I, being the angel that I am, assert, "WASH YOUR DICK!" Suddenly my husband's boss chimes in via webchat, "I guess your house cleanliness protocols are a little different than most!" Lesson learned, make sure everyone is off conference calls even when it is after 5pm!
hairy situation
I hadn't shaved my legs, nor my nethers for about three weeks before our city shut down. I wasn’t getting any then, certainly won’t be getting any now, why shave ever again really. Two weeks in to never leaving my house I decided to stop shaving my armpits as well. At this point, a razor isn’t going to cut it. I’ll need a full body wax if I am ever to wear those cheeky bikini bottoms every again. However, the armpit hair isn’t as long as I thought it would be. I can’t tell if I’m disappointed.
sourdough sadness
Is it only me that’s concerned that after all these Instagram posts of homemade sourdough that it will be a reminder of this dark moment in history rather than the beautiful taste creation it is? It might only be me but feel it’s essential to share.
maybe if you had a business
My daughter and I were FaceTiming with my mother in law a week or so ago. She only lives about 15 minutes away, but we barely see her because she always has an excuse. Anyway, we were talking about social distancing and face masks - and she says “do you want some? I’m selling them.”
lesson plan
My husband and I are WFH during this period and I have to go to work on occasion. I keep reminding him to do creative and educational things with the kids when I’m at work. He said fine. I was skeptical. I went to work yesterday and when I put our four year old son to bed he said he was scared. I said why? He said because “Daddy put on Moana yesterday when you went to work”. I had a ‘chat’ with my husband and he said he turned it off and put on Frozen II when he realized our son was scared. I think he is missing the point.
safe haven
I am loving the social distancing. I am safe without my violent ex husband! I can listen to the birds, I can eat what I want, I can read, I can call my mother. I have even started listening to music again. My friends and family are worried about how it must be for me to be alone now, but honestly, I know I would probably be dead or in hospital if my life had continued how it had. Being alone teaches me the freedom of choice of how to use my time, safely.
dear abby
My house feels like a maze of risky contact. Every since the city locked down, one of my housemates decided to WFH from their parents house, but comes home every weekend and invites their college girlfriend over to hang out. I’m personally not comfortable interacting with anyone outside my household so that fact that he is at his family’s and she is with roommates near campus is unsettling for me. The rest of the roommates and I are slightly uncomfortable (and haven’t said anything because we are bbs) but that goes out the door the moment they come home and it becomes a more social scene. I physically feel so weird sitting and watching tv with any of the roomies now because they have all hung out with them, while I stayed in my room virtually the whole weekend. Am I being extra? How much of a fuss is it to decide to quarantine in one single place and not split time between houses? Am I really the only one in this house of adults that knows how to follow guidelines 🙃?!
ruff stuff
Darwin our dog has always been a bit racist, afraid of umbrellas and people in wheelchairs, walking sticks. Now he sits on the front porch and barks his head off at anyone over 70 years old. He’s the kind of dog who’s lovely, but sometimes you wonder. I’m pretty sure he’s a Trump supporter.
fly on the wall
I am quarantined in the mountains with a couple who have been together a couple of months. I observe their relationship grow and get to know them in different ways not all of them agreeable. The constant kissing gets a bit much, at times I want this love and affection too, especially as I miss my ex so much who split with me recently, I didn't want to break up. If we hadn't we'd now be together in quarantine. I wonder if our quite new relationship would have survived it. Feeling sorry for myself today
flying the nest
I work 2 jobs and live at home with my parents. Where 1 job is in an office, the other is a work from home arrangement. 5 days a week , 730am to 10pm. Both my jobs are now work from home and my parents have been relentless that I don’t socialize enough during the week. Was saving for a house. I’ve now moved into a rental to get away.
who’s laughing now
when this account gained popularity my gf and i would laugh out loud reading about how other couples were struggling being quarantined together thinking it could never happen to us. well. fast forward to two weeks of quarantine with my gf and i'm in the bathroom crying because i'm convinced that she is going to break up with me. even through the tears i can see the brutal irony in this.
mixed bag
We returned home from a long-anticipated vacation just as things were heating up in our city. My boyfriend spent the first two weeks of quarantine calling every person he's ever met. Our apartment is not big and he's not a quiet conversationalist, so there's really nowhere to hide. The constant phone calls have now dwindled to just regular two-hour conversations with his brother, and from these it's becoming clear to me that my boyfriend has some genuine daddy issues he needs to work through. One of these calls ended in tears, which is historically more my wheel house, but welcome to the new reality I guess. I'm hoping at some point in his life he can organically arrive at the conclusion that therapy isn't bullshit, but for now two cis-het men talking about their feelings is pretty good, right? We're also both out of work and my friend got shot last week (he miraculously survived but his buddy didn't). I'm pretty sure I felt the full range of human emotion in the span of four hours. On the bright side, I've got 20 pounds of rice, 36 rolls of toilet paper, and 4 months of birth control. Real mixed bag over here.
buzz buzz
My girlfriend spent AN HOUR in the middle of the night trying to catch a mosquito that I’m pretty sure did not exist. She was claiming we wouldn’t go to sleep until the mosquito was dead and kept on yelling loud « HUSH ! » randomly when she thought she heard it, when it was just the noise of the fridge or whatever other stuff. Love those quarantine night-time giggles
bleeding bottom
My butt bleeds every time I poop and I can’t wait for quarantine to be over so I can get it checked out
targeted ads
Has anyone else noticed how hard companies are targeting on Instagram during lock down? Yesterday me and my partner were having an argument and immediately after I was advertised online relationship counciling. Can’t a women shout at her boyfriend for being too god damn lazy in peace these days??
4/20 blaze it
We live in the Netherlands. My boyfriend doesn't smoke much weed, but after several weeks of home-working and just the two of us, he decided to buy a joint and smoke on the balcony. We ate dinner late, with two beers. After half a joint, he said it was pretty heavy - it turns out he'd never smoked a whole joint by himself before. He smokes the second half, and I'm getting ready for bed when I hear **dramatic** vomiting - it turns out the joint was very heavy, too heavy, in fact. I ran to try to help, and realised that I've never helped a vomiting man before. With women, I can hold their hair, comfort them, etc. I've been there. But I don't know what to do with a vomiting man. Anyway, he just told me to go away. In such weird times, we all learn something new about ourselves, everyday.