4/20 blaze it

Kush or crush? My mom caught me smoking on our porch twice already... What happens when she catches you doing illegal activity, especially since the virus targets lungs?

Well, I took a walk on the beach to ease this anxiety. I met a boy, the ONLY boy on the beach, and I NEVER meet boys on beaches. And im sorry but how do i meet the man of my dreams on a deserted beach, is the universe playing with me right now?.. I have a crush, maybe this will distract me from smoking kush... or maybe he smokes too ;)

splish splash

Literally every day, my girlfriend says she will shower later. In the morning, she says she doesn't want to shower because she might do something active later and need another shower (yeah right). In the evening, she says she doesn't want to shower because she's tired and would rather shower in the morning. Can someone please end quarantine so she has to go back to work and shower again? Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night (its that bad) thinking there is a stinky piece of cheese in the room.

clink clink

My partner doesn’t know I’m an alcoholic, I have to put wine bottles in socks to stop them rattling in the bin, have had to buy loads of new socks as i’ve run out and have permanently cold feet. But it’s the only way to cope being cooped up with him. He’s living like the world is coming to an end and listening to the news 24/7 driving me crazy!! Alcohol is my only release

iso 4 hours alone

So I’m sheltering in place with my husband, my husband’s *other* wife (you read that right), plus two housemates in a San Francisco flat. You might think that would cause drama, but we’re mostly great — lots of dinners together, the occasional Netflix evening, etc. BUT, I’m slowly going mad. I love to cook — I work in food publishing, and the kitchen is my happy place. But beyond cooking basic dinners for the family and roomies, I haven’t been able to do any serious cooking or baking projects because everyone in the house is *constantly* stress cooking, and I’m just realizing how much I used to plan my baking projects for whenever everyone would be out of the house, because I love zoning out to tunes while cooking and hate having to share a kitchen. If I didn’t have to work from home during business hours I think I would cook in the wee hours whenever everyone is asleep. Can I just have four hours alone in the kitchen to bake macarons, pretty, pretty please? (And don’t get me started on the chaos of our refrigerator right now.)

all is fair in love and nerf

My boyfriend moved in before the lockdown and we have been spending our time together doing yoga and shooting nerf guns. I would put up targets around the living room for us to shoot, but in the heat of things I have also shot him twice in the butt and once between the eyes. He still cooks me dinner everyday when I get home from work at the hospital.

two people one bed

I've been in an LDR for two years. I love my partner so much. And yet, going on week 4 in quarantine together all I want is my own bedroom with my own bed and my own bedding and my own clutter and my own smell. I got a taste of cohabitation and I'm afraid that I'll never be able to do it longterm, with anyone, ever. WHO CAME UP WITH SHARING A BED/BEDROOM? I DON'T WANT TO DO IT.

the monogram diaries

My landlord and his girlfriend live in the basement apartment in our building and I swear to god they're going to kill each other before this is over. Our walls are paper thin, we can hear everything because they're shouting at the top of their lungs, and the petty shit they've been fighting over is incredible. Yesterday they had an argument for over an hour about if a shirt, which was monogrammed with my landlord's name, belonged to my landlord. He was claiming it wasn't his???

on the road

I’m a 70 year old full time RVer who travels alone with my 13 year old Jack Russell. I’m currently staying in an RV park in Casa Grande Arizona with others who are mostly 55+. I was planning to leave here April 1st and find somewhere to stay where the temperature is below 85-90 degrees. I have one more month before the temperature starts climbing into the 90s and then higher (usually up to 120 degrees) as time goes on. I’m taking it a day at a time and hoping that my dog and I can survive the heat. I’d hate it if he dies of heat stroke when I have to take him out for his walk. And did I mention the rattle snakes that turn up unexpectedly? If only I could train him to do his business on a pee pad or something but he would rather die than soil his space. I’m grateful that I have a safe enough place to stay right now because I’m currently house less so sheltering in place is not really possible. This is as good as it can get. But I worry about the rising temperatures. I feel like I’m trapped in a room with the walls closing in just a little more every day. Yikes!

so long zen vibes

My husband and I moved to a new apartment at the beginning of the lockdown. As we now have a large living room, I decided to make a space where I could practice yoga and called it my zen corner. My husband is a cyclist and as he can no longer go out, he bought a bicycle trainer which has to sit in my zen corner. The space is now called exercise corner. So long zen vibes.

thriving

I'm thriving. I usually commute 3 hours every day, I struggle with it. I generally dislike people and never feel I have enough time or brain-space to do the things I want to do when I get home each day. I'm extremely lucky that I can work from home, I'm now exercising every day, being creative and spending time doing all the things around the house I never get around to. I go out maybe twice a week for a walk around the block but it isn't necessary for me. I've never been happier. My wife and family are slowly unraveling, but I genuinely hope the quarantine lasts a lot longer.

cheaper by the dozen

When social distancing started I de-camped from the small apartment I shared in London with two flatmates to my parents larger house in the suburbs. I’m 32 and it’s been well over 10 years since I lived with my parents. The past three weeks have certainly been an adjustment (read: regression), but we had settled into a pretty good rhythm. But now, my sister and her husband have decided to come home too, with their 4-month old in tow, for the “long haul”. Their own apartment has 3 bedrooms and a large living area, but they just figured it seemed like we were having more fun. So the house I escaped to has gone from big enough to too small overnight, and I’m now isolating alongside a teething infant. I’m ready for this to all be over now.

old body butters

Boyfriend has effectively moved in for the lockdown. I've been getting through old body butters etc.

He sniffs: "What is that? You smell like... like a home department store. A high end department store." "

Is that a good thing, for a girlfriend?"

"No".

sorry you’re out of luck

I have been very type A about cleanliness in the house and my boyfriend of 6 years found it annoying and controlling. He didn’t say much in the moment but one morning he woke up and announced he was moving out and couldn’t take it anymore (he clearly wasn’t taking the quarantine seriously). He moved into his brothers 500 sq foot apartment with a twin bed they shared. 24 hours later he begged to come back and that he made a terrible mistake. I said sorry you are out of luck, at the very least you have to quarantine there for 14 days before I even consider having you back…

reconnection

There is this guy I have been in love with for two years. Fully madly in love. I had met him ten years ago and we reconnected. And it was like everything I ever missed was right here at last, a connection and an emotion like no other. Of course there is always something. He is married, in a long-term relationship on life support that left him voiceless, but also, it seems, absolutely unable to speak his truth and choose himself (and me). It’s both really sad and infuriating. The day before the shut down we thought about leaving to go upstate. He said to me, I am ready. I heard that before but I wanted to believe him. Obviously he is still there. 
I am seeing this quarantine as a wake-up call for me to draw the mental, physical and emotional line and just look at what I have in my life. Not him, but myself. Since the confinement started, things have started to shift inside of me. It’s like I have put our love on a shelf and I am slowly turning my back and leaving it all behind. I live on a ground apartment and sometimes though, when someone is walking on the sidewalk passing across my window, I still find myself looking hoping for a split second that he made it out and has come back to me.

i need my space

In quarantine in a small studio apartment with my boyfriend who chooses to have no social life (is a proud introvert with no interest in people other than me and his family), is unemployed (and doesn't try hard enough to find a job and is used to things being given to him, his parents doing things for him etc) and was an indoor type person before the pandemic and is like a pig in sh*t at the moment loving the isolation. He was never an outdoors type and doesn’t see the need to go out for fresh air. Everything is ordered online and delivered. I hear him talking to his family on the phone (because we’re essentially in one room together all day long unless one of us uses the bathroom), him and his family talk about the news all the time and don’t talk about anything else, to the point where it is an obsession and they are all neurotic and anxious anyway even before all of this, so this has just made it even worse. It really is like listening to a broken record. I always put my earphones in to block it out and give him privacy but he talks so loudly. There’s no privacy. When I was going out to work at least I had a break but now it’s his monotone voice surround sound everyday and this irritating laugh he has. When I video call or voice call friends or family, he will later comment on things I had been talking about in my private conversations. It’s just too much! I need my space. At first we were doing ok but he’s been inside for 30 days straight and I feel I’m becoming stir crazy but he’s loving it. We don’t have a balcony or access to outdoor space. Slowly losing the plot...being in one room with the same anxious illogical person is challenging enough without the pandemic but with it, I’m climbing the walls!

HR alert

I’ve been flirting with my coworker since they started. It was casual at first, but then COVID hit and I was like fuck it. So we ended up hooking up and it was...interesting. But now what happens when this quarantine lifts? How do I pass him in the hallway and not think about him naked. Oyyy and he was good in bed too. I can’t go back there.

long distance and high risk

Two weeks ago, my roommate (who is also one of my best friends) told me she was going to drive 12 hours to quarantine with her long-distance boyfriend in California. Not only that, he was going to fly here and she’d pick him up from the airport and they’d start the drive straight from there. I thought this was idiotic. California already had shelter in place orders, plus getting on a plane was unnecessarily risky. Even more idiotic? We were waiting on covid-19 test results from a friend who we’d been around a week before. Six hours after my roommate left, our friend texted to say she’d tested positive. When I messaged my roommate to tell her she had to be extra careful with undertones of “what the fuck is wrong with you,” she told me I’m not the authority. I haven’t spoken directly to her since. I hope she stays in California. My friend who was (so frighteningly) sick has recovered, thank god.

plus add chicken

My husband and I started slow and careful, basically amicable first-stages divorce discussions in February. I'd read books, I'd thought about how to approach him, how to manage it all, how to make it best for the kids. It was going well. And then we had to go into isolation, and then I got the coronavirus, and then he had to do all the things I usually do while he does nothing. I'm isolated in home-quarantine from him and the kids. It's NOT going well. Right now, he's calling a restaurant to order our dinner. Because he resents this (why? who is *like* this?), he's treating the person on the other end of the line like a faulty automaton, and is bellowing our order at her in a robot voice. I wrote for my salad "+ add chicken". He's bellowing "Plus add chicken" at her, and she doesn't understand, and he just keeps repeating it. A human being might rephrase it, might ask, "Can we add chicken to the salad?" Finally on the fourth try she gets it. PLUS ADD CHICKEN. He does this for my food and for the childrens' like the list is in a language he can't understand and is reading phonetically. Then when it's time to order his own food, he changes into a normal conversational voice. I've been secretly crying myself to sleep every night, alone and sick, and I can't even hug my kids.

silver linings

Well this whole pandemic has really things for my sanity. I have been in home separated from my spouse since January. I was struggling with my addictions and poor life choices and feel awful about my behavior and how deeply I hurt my spouse. She asked for a divorce in January and I have no illusions that this is what will happen. We have agreed to live together until we get our house ready to sell and get it sold so we both can start out on the right foot post divorce. Also we have a five year old son and have been doing our best to keep things civil. Well corona virus hit and has stalled all of this. I am stuck in the house with no work like most everyone else. She had closed off from me and is escaped into her phone and is doing essentially the same things I did during my affair. Ive been trying hard to handle the stress and sadness and guilt but it’s been extremely difficult. Silver lining is I’ve gotten a bunch of quality time with my son. The shame of my actions compounded by her behavior and having her own affairs and refusal to communicate has been heart wrenching and soul crushing. But I know I’m not alone and I continue the journey of healing and reinvention of myself so that once this is all over I can move forward with a new life despite the current hell im living in. Prayers to those affected by the virus and prayers to those helping to overcome and lastly prayers to those who are going through similar situations and living in a current limbo! Stay strong!

you’re not alone

My husband bailed on us 3 weeks ago when they started shutting everything down. He said it was because he was still working (not an essential business), he didn't want to take a chance and infect us. He came back suddenly yesterday, hugged our boys (ages 4 and 5), which he was not supposed to do since he has not been quarantining and I am immune-comprimised. He moved his belongings back in. This morning while he was in the shower I opened his phone and read his texts. Apparently he thinks this pandemic is just an excuse to party. I found texts to friends and random girls looking for weed, mushrooms, beer and "big titted women with loose morals". This may sound funny but when you're 51 years old with a family at home missing you and needing you..it is just down right wrong and really hurtful. Needless to say, I asked him to leave again. He simply said "okay" and was gone in a flash. Part of me worries for him as I think he's living in the car. I worry that he will get sick and die. I worry for my boys who consider him their hero. I worry for myself as we only have $12.90 in the bank and weren't able to make all of our rent. I have no family to turn to. So here I am just trying to make due with what we have while keeping the boys occupied, happy and healthy and pretending Daddy isn't home because he doesn't want to get us sick.